In episode 1, when Rue goes to a party and talks to Fez, she explains, Rue even expresses resentment toward her mom for giving birth to her, blaming her “cruel cervix” for pushing her out into a chaotic and violent world. She sees this as a sign that her life was destined to be miserable and is the start of her pessimistic perspective that life is a series of tragic circumstances beyond her control. Rue’s first moment of birth, despite not knowing what was occurring at the time, was seeing death and destruction. Rue literally rues the day she was born she expresses that she felt happy being insulated and protected from the outside world when she was still inside of her mother. My mother and father spent two days in the hospital, holding me under the soft glow of the television, watching the towers fall over and over again-until the feelings of grief gave way to numbness.” I put up a good fight, but I lost-for the first time, but not the last. Then one day, for reasons beyond my control, I was repeatedly crushed, over and over by the cruel cervix of my mother Leslie. “I was once happy, content, sloshing around in my own private, primordial pool. In episode 1, Rue mentions the circumstances of her birth, saying, Rue has a pattern of placing the blame elsewhere, as she says in episode 1, “I didn’t built this system, nor did I fuck it up” to casually dismiss her drug addiction. Out of sheer curiosity, Rue took her dad’s pills as he was sleeping, and this engendered a relentless cycle of addiction. Open the door! Fuck you, Fez-Ok! Are you doing this because you care about me? If you cared about me, you wouldn’t have sold me the fucking drugs in the first place…You fucking ruined my life.” Īlthough Fez certainly aided in Rue’s addiction, Rue had been abusing drugs long before Fez started selling to her, and initially started using drugs after her father was diagnosed with cancer and she was forced to take care of him at night (her mom had to take two jobs to cover the medical bills). You know that? You’re a fucking drop out drug dealer with seven functioning fucking brain cells. “Fez, you’re full of shit man! You know you make your living off of selling drugs to teenagers, and now all of a sudden you wanna have a fuckin’ moral high ground. After he closes the door in her face, Rue screams, When Rue’s drug dealer Fez refuses to give Rue any more drugs because he realizes that it is slowly killing Rue and putting her life in danger, Rue lashes out at him and blames him for her addiction. This attitude also allows Rue to blame others for her failures instead of accepting her disease of addiction and trying to change. By constantly placing the emphasis on what others want for her, Rue incessantly sets herself up for failure. And therein lies the catch.” Not once does Rue ever say that she wants to get clean for the potential change that she wants to see actualized in herself, and the reason is because Rue does not feel that she is worthy of change and self-improvement. Not because I want it, but because they do. Rue expresses regret for causing both her mother and sister pain, “If I could be a different person, I promise you, I would. In episode 2, Rue has a flashback when she picked up a shard of broken glass, pointed it at her mother and threatened to kill her. to feel sorrow, repentance, or regret.noun 4. to wish that (something) had never been done, taken place, etc.: I rue the day he was born. to feel sorrow over repent of regret bitterly:to rue the loss of opportunities. In Euphoria, the meaning of Rue’s name reflects the pensive nature of the character. Only through Rue’s relationship with Ali (also a drug addict, albeit recovering) can she gradually begin to gain self-confidence, self-worth, and forgive herself for her failures and mistakes. She begins to view her relationship with certain people as the same as her relationship with drugs, such as her friend Jules. However, the same drugs that she uses for comfort cause her to act outside of her nature and experience feelings of shame. As most people that Rue meets and interacts with do not show her compassion or care, and terrible tragedies lead to further mental and emotional deterioration, Rue turns to drugs as a means of muting the chaos and violence that torture her every day. Rue, the main protagonist of Euphoria, is a young African American teenager who struggles with drug addiction, mental illness, and low self-esteem.
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